As a male, it is fully expected that upon sight of a girl as beautiful as Katy Perry, I must at least consider what a dynamic rack she has. It is mandatory to at least ask myself if that isn’t one smoking hot ass. Since I am not a Neanderthal, it is expected that I should keep these considerations to myself, except in the case that I am in a group of other atavistic guys. In that case, should Miss Perry happen by, one of the group will say something along the lines I just mentioned and, if I fail to agree sufficiently; well, there will be questions.

The group will not ask, “What? Does she not play guitar well enough for you?” No. recall that these are neanderthal-ish men, who, in groups, are not notorious for getting smarter. So in fact I would be ecstatic if I had so much as a 15 minute guitar lesson from Miss Perry. If the girl so much as smiled in my general direction, I could go away pleased with myself but, because I am not a Neanderthal, its best to keep these things to myself. No the questions will be like, “What? Are you a fag?”

It’s the group, demanding that I either become a member, or admit that I am hostile to it. There is never a multitude of choices. Yer lahk us, or yer a fuckin homo. It harkens back to primitive group dynamics, back when strangers were killed, and possibly eaten. Since we are not actually primitives anymore, the negotiation devolves into behaviors designed to make the stranger go away.  Similarly, demands for acceptance of a group’s membership, known in some circles as colonization, come in the form of invitations. A group likes you for what you have done with yourself, and pompously invites you for some kind of award. They make a show of it, and in so doing declare to all that you are one of them. One big happy family.

Except they rarely ask if you want the dubious honor. I am a man. I’ve proven it enough times that I don’t have to appease the membership of some capital “M” Men’s group to make it official. In any case, if the standards of said group were not to my liking, who are they to say anything? That is the dynamic negotiation that goes on between individuals and groups. In men’s case, we run the risk of being labeled a fag- which may not even mean “homosexual”. It depends on the group’s ability to verbalize their thoughts. No guarantees on that one.

In the case of Katy Perry reneging on her right to the mantle of “feminist”, it makes no sense to call her a fag, but feminists have to react somehow. Jezebel’s Madeleine Davies had it right when she questioned Billboard’s choice of Katy as woman of the year. This is a woman who had a special bra created so that she could spray whipped cream from her tits. If she’s who you’re looking towards as a representative of feminism, then you’re bound to be disappointed.
But I am always tempted to flip the issue around and look at it. If spraying whip cream from her tits is not representative of feminism, then what is the image they are shooting for? The question has to be asked: Did they verbalize what they were asking her before they asked it? Probably not. It was an assumption that because she is an accomplished woman, Miss Perry would automatically accept membership or risk being, what? A self actualized individuated self-made success? No, let’s remember who we are talking about here. This is capital “W” Women. If you aren’t on board with Feminism, then you are capitulating to the evil penis overlord, the Men. You’re a bitch, a whore, or worse, a c-word. The only possible way to redeem yourself is to publicly make some statement like, “Look, assholes. I’m a feminist and if you don’t like it you can eat my candy coated vagina “

That’s right, men in general, say the word feminist and then refer to your genitals. Because that is powerful. Because publicly stating that you don’t want to be a member of the group isn’t powerful. No Christian ever changed anything that way. When Katy Perry, who has nothing to prove, politely indicates that she doesn’t need the group to anoint her, it couldn’t indicate that she is just the kind of person that Feminism aspires to, could it?

If that was the case, then the feminist reaction to vilify her would be, well, kind of primitive. It would mean that Miss Perry could be gently trying to lead, or even just push women in the right direction. It would mean that Madeleine Davies’ insinuation that Katy Perry was just immature was arrogant and myopic, and based on the idea that despite her hard work and struggles and perseverance she couldn’t really be a capital “W” Woman until she said something nasty to the men, referred to her vagina and called herself a member of the group. Davies was right to question Billboard’s choice, but maybe for different reasons than she thinks. When a beautiful talented and skilled, not to mention dynamically successful, artist stands up to you and says thanks, but no thanks, it’s time to stop and listen.

The image of feminism is one which is happy to conform to any woman who separates herself from the group and does or says something important. It will support Secretary of State Hillary Clinton just as easily as it will  Aretha Franklin, Rosa Parks and yes, even Katy Perry. It’s the group that has devolved into a leaderless scrum of jilling hillbillies. Ladies, if fluffy pop stars are distancing themselves from the group, it may be time to ask yourselves if your focus has been lost. Does Miss Perry, who may actually be modest about her sexuality, have to give a vagina monologue to be a woman? Which men, exactly, are you trying to be equal with? Because you may have succeeded.

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